My weird weekend tale

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Hoss

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We went to a party on the lake Saturday evening. We got there at 8:00 and it was already in full swing. There was a particularly drunk lady that was floating around drinking from everyone's glass, stealing beers and being a basic annoying drunk. Around 12:30 we were ready to leave. We walked out to the truck and were saying our goodbyes when we see the drunk lady loading her 3 sleeping children (all under the age of 10) into her new 2015 Suburban. I watched for a second to make sure her husband was coming out to drive. I saw him come out, give her a kiss and hop in his own truck to leave.

This woman was as drunk as I've ever seen and couldn't even speak. She was hanging on people and could barely walk. She climbed into the drivers seat and started to leave.

I told my wife to go talk to her while I talked to her husband. We didnt kniw either of them prior to Saturday night. I walked over to his truck and asked him how far they were driving. He said " Macon". I said "I hate to sound like a dick but I don't think your wife needs to be driving man" He asked why. I was like "Really??? Why???" He said she was fine and that he was following her home. I let him know how drunk she was and offered to let him test her with my breathalyzer. He got pissy and told me to butt out.

Meanwhile, at the other vehicle, my wife was met with similar indifference. We were both told to "mind our own fucking business".

I offered to drive his truck home (45 miles) with my wife following us while he drove his wife and kids home. That made him even more "offended".

After 15 minutes of trying to talk sense into him and having a few friends block their exit I told him to accept that deal or I was calling the cops. He took a swing at me. I swept his feet and he hit the ground. He got up and charged me. I side stepped and helped his momentum a bit into his wife's suburban. He turned, swung again and clipped my chin. I grabbed his head, pulled it down and brought my knee up to his bread box. He dropped like a sack of potatoes and laid on the driveway gasping. This was my first "fight" since I stopped amateur UFC in 2006. I was pissed that h3 tagged my chin for sure. Then I looked down and saw him puking on the curb and felt a little better. I sat down with him and talked him down and gave him some water.

After about 15 mins he was ok and had calmed down. We ended up laughing about it and he apologized for my blue chin and I did the same for his dented door and the whole "projectile vomiting" thing. I told him my offer stood and that if his wife could pass the breathalyzer I would fill up both vehicles with gas on my dime. If not, he would drive her and their kids home while I followed them home in his truck. Or, I would take his keys and call the cops. He agreed to those terms.

I drove his truck to Macon.

He called me today and apologized. He asked if I would accept gas money for having to drive an hour away and I told him no thanks but he insisted.. His wife called my wife today and did the same. They ended up taking a $100 QT gift card to our mutual friend's house today to give to us.

Couldn't ask for a better ending.

Ever had to do that?
 
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AirOpsMgr

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We went to a party on the lake Saturday evening. We got there at 8:00 and it was already in full swing. There was a particularly drunk lady that was floating around drinking from everyone's glass, stealing beers and being a basic annoying drunk. Around 12:30 we were ready to leave. We walked out to the truck and were saying our goodbyes when we see the drunk lady loading her 3 sleeping children (all under the age of 10) into her new 2015 Suburban. I watched for a second to make sure her husband was coming out to drive. I saw him come out, give her a kiss and hop in his own truck to leave.

This woman was as drunk as I've ever seen and couldn't even speak. She was hanging on people and could barely walk. She climbed into the drivers seat and started to leave.

I told my wife to go talk to her while I talked to her husband. We didnt kniw either of them prior to Saturday night. I walked over to his truck and asked him how far they were driving. He said " Macon". I said "I hate to sound like a dick but I don't think your wife needs to be driving man" He asked why. I was like "Really??? Why???" He said she was fine and that he was following her home. I let him know how drunk she was and offered to let him test her with my breathalyzer. He got pissy and told me to butt out.

Meanwhile, at the other vehicle, my wife was met with similar indifference. We were both told to "mind our own fucking business".

I offered to drive his truck home (45 miles) with my wife following us while he drove his wife and kids home. That made him even more "offended".

After 15 minutes of trying to talk sense into him and having a few friends block their exit I told him to accept that deal or I was calling the cops. He took a swing at me. I swept his feet and he hit the ground. He got up and charged me. I side stepped and helped his momentum a bit into his wife's suburban. He turned, swung again and clipped my chin. I grabbed his head, pulled it down and brought my knee up to his bread box. He dropped like a sack of potatoes and laid on the driveway gasping. This was my first "fight" since I stopped amateur UFC in 2006. I was pissed that h3 tagged my chin for sure. Then I looked down and saw him puking on the curb and felt a little better. I sat down with him and talked him down and gave him some water.

After about 15 mins he was ok and had calmed down. We ended up laughing about it and he apologized for my blue chin and I did the same for his dented door and the whole "projectile vomiting" thing. I told him my offer stood and that if his wife could pass the breathalyzer I would fill up both vehicles with gas on my dime. If not, he would drive her and their kids home while I followed them home in his truck. Or, I would take his keys and call the cops. He agreed to those terms.

I drove his truck to Macon.

He called me today and apologized. He asked if I would accept gas money for having to drive an hour away and I told him no thanks but he insisted.. His wife called my wife today and did the same. They ended up taking a $100 QT gift card to our mutual friend's house today to give to us.

Couldn't ask for a better ending.

Ever had to do that?
I read all of that & all I keep focusing on is: You keep a breathalyzer on hand?
 
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H

Hoss

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Sorry, edited it to add detail and fix my phone's autocorrecting...
 
H

Hoss

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I read all of that & all I keep focusing on is: You keep a breathalyzer on hand?
Oh hell yes. A 3 pack was like $12 on woot.

They work great. I keep one in my car, my wife's car and made my kid promise he'd NEVER drive after a drink without using it.
 
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Laufen

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Nope, never done that. In college I did knock my room mates drunk ass out, and take home the drunk 16 year old he collected at a party though.

Good job. Sometimes it's best not to mind your own business.
 
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AirOpsMgr

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Oh hell yes. A 3 pack was like $12 on woot.

They work great. I keep one in my car, my wife's car and made my kid promise he'd NEVER drive after a drink without using it.
I see, so you plan to monitor your guest's inebriation level at your gatherings?

Bro, I bet you throw the wildest fucking parties :rockon:
 
H

Hoss

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Nope, never done that. In college I did knock my room mates drunk ass out, and take home the drunk 16 year old he collected at a party though.

Good job. Sometimes it's best not to mind your own business.
Yep. There's a time to mind your own business and a time to go all in. I was the guest of a guest at this party and was a bit hesitant to step up at first. Then I said "fuck it, this is why I'm here in the first place". I knew I was supposed to be here tonight.
 
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Hoss

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Still surprised he swung at you. It's not like you're a small guy. Guess that says a lot about his alcohol level.
He wasn't drinking and wasn't a little dude himself. He was a Bubba fighter. I thought his head hitting the door that hard would have ended it so I wasn't expecting the wild hook. I dodged it for the most part but it clipped me enough to remind me that this was real.
 

AirOpsMgr

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Meh, seems to me you were acting like a democrat and wanted to control the situation.
 

Laufen

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Those little breathalyzers work great. I don't know how anyone can drive at .07+ I'm totally shitcanned at .06.
 

AirOpsMgr

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Damn straight. Obey or else bitches
Kinda sad really ..... Here I was thinking that you were a straight Republican heterosexual male, and then I come to find out you are just another controlling left-wing Liberal nut job; I bet you don't even drink alcohol while attending Church
 
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Hoss

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Kinda sad really ..... Here I was thinking that you were a straight Republican heterosexual male, and then I come to find out you are just another controlling left-wing Liberal nut job; I bet you don't even drink alcohol while attending Church
Fundamentalists call me a liberal. Liberals call me a Bible thumping right winger.
I call myself Chocolate Thundah!"
 
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AirOpsMgr

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Fundamentalists call me a liberal. Liberals call me a Bible thumping right winger.
I call myself Chocolate Thundah!"
I just call you a child-rapist
 

sam

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glad the kids made him home safe,thanks to u. hope the parents learned a lesson

in for pics of ur chin