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AirOpsMgr

Director of Lavatory Services
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Mar 24, 2015
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AirOpsMgr, AKA: AirOpsMgr

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
 

madHatter

Marksman
Mar 25, 2015
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661
113
Fuckville
AirOpsMgr, AKA: AirOpsMgr

The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.
fbz_5ec2ecbe28e004c8b8d36d625cba2c99.jpg
 
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Hoss

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My user name is obvious from this:
Evil volcano cultists abducted me as a baby. I was saved from mass baby sacrifice by two paladins, one a wise-cracking rookie representing St. Cuthbert and the other a by-the-book veteran spreading the word of Pelor. In an explosion-filled magic carpet chase through the underground geyser system, the head cultist managed to possess me just before biting it. I was taken to an orphanage where eventually a master of kung-fu adopted me, recognizing me potential even at such an early age. I spent my childhood learning how to punch and kick, but mostly to seek inner peace. At night, I warred with the spirit of the cultist in my dreams, besting him in his weakened form, but I slowly came to realize that one day, he would overpower me. At the age of nine, I fled the monastery and fell into the hands of some gnomish sailors, who tried to sell me into slavery to an Orcish cabal of alchemists. The sale was interrupted by a raiding party of gnolls, though. In the ensuing battle, my left arms was crippled while stealing a worg and attempting to ride to safety. I trudged on through the deserts and plains and foothills, subsisting off of the (un)mercy of nature and fleeing the daily hordes of monsters and unnameable entities. After weeks of travel, I made it to a trading hub and apprenticed myself to the mad cleric of Olidamarra who healed my arm....several times after repeatedly crippling it for laughs. For years, I was used as guinea pig for the cleric's wizard friends, gaining all manner of maladies and additions to my physical form. During a boring afternoon, the evil cultist guy in my soul finally took over and promptly murdered the cleric, using my mouth to scream something about "violations" and weeping profusely. I regained control weeks afterward to realize that I was suddenly a famous adventurer, having defeated some guy which was totally bad ass (even though I don't remember it. But I do have a wooden fish souvenir thingy.)
 

Gunsite Grad

Charter member
Kalash Klub
Lifetime Supporter
Mar 25, 2015
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Druid Hills & Kennworthstock
Zip code
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My user name is obvious from this:
Evil volcano cultists abducted me as a baby. I was saved from mass baby sacrifice by two paladins, one a wise-cracking rookie representing St. Cuthbert and the other a by-the-book veteran spreading the word of Pelor. In an explosion-filled magic carpet chase through the underground geyser system, the head cultist managed to possess me just before biting it. I was taken to an orphanage where eventually a master of kung-fu adopted me, recognizing me potential even at such an early age. I spent my childhood learning how to punch and kick, but mostly to seek inner peace. At night, I warred with the spirit of the cultist in my dreams, besting him in his weakened form, but I slowly came to realize that one day, he would overpower me. At the age of nine, I fled the monastery and fell into the hands of some gnomish sailors, who tried to sell me into slavery to an Orcish cabal of alchemists. The sale was interrupted by a raiding party of gnolls, though. In the ensuing battle, my left arms was crippled while stealing a worg and attempting to ride to safety. I trudged on through the deserts and plains and foothills, subsisting off of the (un)mercy of nature and fleeing the daily hordes of monsters and unnameable entities. After weeks of travel, I made it to a trading hub and apprenticed myself to the mad cleric of Olidamarra who healed my arm....several times after repeatedly crippling it for laughs. For years, I was used as guinea pig for the cleric's wizard friends, gaining all manner of maladies and additions to my physical form. During a boring afternoon, the evil cultist guy in my soul finally took over and promptly murdered the cleric, using my mouth to scream something about "violations" and weeping profusely. I regained control weeks afterward to realize that I was suddenly a famous adventurer, having defeated some guy which was totally bad ass (even though I don't remember it. But I do have a wooden fish souvenir thingy.)
Too. Damn. Long.
 
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madHatter

Marksman
Mar 25, 2015
1,484
661
113
Fuckville
My user name is obvious from this:
Evil volcano cultists abducted me as a baby. I was saved from mass baby sacrifice by two paladins, one a wise-cracking rookie representing St. Cuthbert and the other a by-the-book veteran spreading the word of Pelor. In an explosion-filled magic carpet chase through the underground geyser system, the head cultist managed to possess me just before biting it. I was taken to an orphanage where eventually a master of kung-fu adopted me, recognizing me potential even at such an early age. I spent my childhood learning how to punch and kick, but mostly to seek inner peace. At night, I warred with the spirit of the cultist in my dreams, besting him in his weakened form, but I slowly came to realize that one day, he would overpower me. At the age of nine, I fled the monastery and fell into the hands of some gnomish sailors, who tried to sell me into slavery to an Orcish cabal of alchemists. The sale was interrupted by a raiding party of gnolls, though. In the ensuing battle, my left arms was crippled while stealing a worg and attempting to ride to safety. I trudged on through the deserts and plains and foothills, subsisting off of the (un)mercy of nature and fleeing the daily hordes of monsters and unnameable entities. After weeks of travel, I made it to a trading hub and apprenticed myself to the mad cleric of Olidamarra who healed my arm....several times after repeatedly crippling it for laughs. For years, I was used as guinea pig for the cleric's wizard friends, gaining all manner of maladies and additions to my physical form. During a boring afternoon, the evil cultist guy in my soul finally took over and promptly murdered the cleric, using my mouth to scream something about "violations" and weeping profusely. I regained control weeks afterward to realize that I was suddenly a famous adventurer, having defeated some guy which was totally bad ass (even though I don't remember it. But I do have a wooden fish souvenir thingy.)
REPORTED :D
 

PewPewPewCo

Sniper
Mar 23, 2015
2,139
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113
Georgia
Since this site is in its infancy now is a good time to start this thread. Name, story behind the screen name & how you found the site.

Larry. I've attended a couple of classes taught by Gunsite Academy. ArtVandelay invited me.

I like turtles, guns, long walks on the beach, and short dark and sexy rifles with good wood.
 

fyroc

Developer
Mar 25, 2015
482
270
113
Philadelphia
Zip code
19130
I am a Software Developer. I know more development languages than I really have use for. I'm only 26 and have been through a lot for my age. I also probably make more money then you did at 26. I will probably say a lot of mom jokes and talk about how Liberal my new girlfriend is.
 
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JBum

Frontiersman
Mar 25, 2015
355
91
63
Mesa, AZ
Zip code
85203
My user name is obvious from this:
Evil volcano cultists abducted me as a baby. I was saved from mass baby sacrifice by two paladins, one a wise-cracking rookie representing St. Cuthbert and the other a by-the-book veteran spreading the word of Pelor. In an explosion-filled magic carpet chase through the underground geyser system, the head cultist managed to possess me just before biting it. I was taken to an orphanage where eventually a master of kung-fu adopted me, recognizing me potential even at such an early age. I spent my childhood learning how to punch and kick, but mostly to seek inner peace. At night, I warred with the spirit of the cultist in my dreams, besting him in his weakened form, but I slowly came to realize that one day, he would overpower me. At the age of nine, I fled the monastery and fell into the hands of some gnomish sailors, who tried to sell me into slavery to an Orcish cabal of alchemists. The sale was interrupted by a raiding party of gnolls, though. In the ensuing battle, my left arms was crippled while stealing a worg and attempting to ride to safety. I trudged on through the deserts and plains and foothills, subsisting off of the (un)mercy of nature and fleeing the daily hordes of monsters and unnameable entities. After weeks of travel, I made it to a trading hub and apprenticed myself to the mad cleric of Olidamarra who healed my arm....several times after repeatedly crippling it for laughs. For years, I was used as guinea pig for the cleric's wizard friends, gaining all manner of maladies and additions to my physical form. During a boring afternoon, the evil cultist guy in my soul finally took over and promptly murdered the cleric, using my mouth to scream something about "violations" and weeping profusely. I regained control weeks afterward to realize that I was suddenly a famous adventurer, having defeated some guy which was totally bad ass (even though I don't remember it. But I do have a wooden fish souvenir thingy.)


I googled in "the gayist thing on the interweb" and it brought me to this post!?!?!?!?!?
 
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Hoss

Guest
I am a Software Developer. I know more development languages than I really have use for. I'm only 26 and have been through a lot for my age. I also probably make more money then you did at 26. I will probably say a lot of mom jokes and talk about how Liberal my new girlfriend is.
I made more money at 26 than I did at 40